What is assertive?
Assertive is saying or expressing what you want in a polite way.
How To Be Assertive?
1. Work on your appearance - How you look tells a lot about you
- If you're wearing clothes that look like you've just got out of bed, or if you wear a pound of make-up with fluffy high-heels, people won't take you seriously.
- If you look like you're ready to get things done, people will know what to expect from you. A good motto is "Dress for Success." This will allow people to respect you more.
2. Have a confident demeanor. You give away a lot before you even open your mouth.
- Try not to be easy to read, even if you are nervous or uncertain.
- Keep your shoulders squared and your chin up. Even if you are confused, you can be confident. There's no shame in asking questions.
- Try to look people in the eye. This can be hard for people who are naturally nervous or timid, but it shows people that you don't intend to be brushed off.
3. Use a clear, calm voice. You don't need to be loud, but you do need to make yourself heard.
- If people aren't noticing you and you need service, say clearly "Excuse me." Also, whatever you are trying to say, try to be concise.
4. Be honest with yourself. Know what you want.
- People can tell if you already know what you want out of them, and it's much easier for them to do what you ask them if you can tell them clearly what that is. Whether you're speaking to an insurance agent or a waiter, their job is to serve you and you'll make their job about ten times easier if you know what you want.
5. Know when to hold 'em; know when to fold 'em. Like anything else in life, being assertive is about balance. If the waiter made a mistake and brought you something you're allergic to, speak up--and keep at it until the problem is corrected. But if a cashier growls at you, it's not your job to educate them on manners and customer service, so let it go. It's important to get what you deserve in life, but it's just as important to understandwhat it is that you deserve in the first place! Choose your battles.
6. Don't misdirect your frustration.
- If the airline counter agent tells you you must pay extra for your heavy bag, don't get angry at the agent! Your beef is with the airline's policy (and possibly your failure to read the fine print). Instead, treat the agent like an ally. If the policy was made available to you, apologize and ask for an exception. If you were never informed of the policy, say so, and ask for an exception. Either way, the agent herself did you no harm, so do not direct your frustration at her! She is not the aggressor; she's your potential ally. So treat her well and negotiate respectfully, then take the matter up with the airline's customer service agents.
7. Say what's on your mind. Don't be silent if you have something to say. Share your feelings freely, it's your right. Remember, there's nothing wrong in having an opinion. And if your silent affect others in any way, then it's your obligation, too!
8. Learn to say 'NO'. If you do not feel right doing something, then don't do it! No one has the right to make you do something you don't want. It's okay to reject someone. Remember, for yourself, the most important person is - you! If you don't respect your desires, how can you expect others to?
Source: http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Assertive
***The key to success in confrontations is to use an appropriate tone of voice and the correct words.
