Ask empowering question :)

The questions we ask ourselves or the questions we fail to ask truly determine our course in life.

- Ask empowering questions:

What can I learn from this eperience?
What is great about my situation?
How can I make the most of this?

- Don't ask Disempowering questions:

Why me?
Why does this always happen to me?

Your mind will come up with answers so ask questions that will EMPOWER YOU! 

By: Haleh Banani

My future??? Oh pleaseee . . .

 "Va tenang" bentakku dalam hati. Allah akan mengatur segala nya. Kau juga perlu bangun cepat besok. Kau butuh istirahat. Perlahan ku pejamkan mata. Beaker Doraemon kesayangan ku sudah menunjukkan pukul 10.30. Huh,ada apa dengan ku? Kenapa aku seperti orang stress begini.kepala ku juga sakit. Ya Allah bantu aku. Pejamkan mata ini untuk sedetik saja.

               Waktu sudah menunjukkan pukul 10.50. Apalagi huh? kenapa belum tidur juga? apa yang kau pikirkan? selesaikan sekarang juga supaya kau bisa tidur. Pintaku. Ku bangkit, mencoba duduk di atas tempat tidur. Dalam gelap ku merenung. Ada apa dengan diriku Ya Allah? Kenapa ku tidak bisa mengontrol diriku, pikiranku. Apakah semua ini ada kaitan nya dengan dunia yang tidak bisa memberikan ku apa-apa? Kenapa selalu saja diri ini terlalu berambisi akan gemerlap nya keindahan semu ini. Kenapa hal ini bisa menganggu pikiran ku. Kenapa harus hal ini yang ku pikirkan? Ya Rabb, help me.

               Akhir-akhir ini memang ku terlalu berambisi dengan keindahan dunia ini. Dia menawarkan kemegahan dan kemasyhuran. Ya, that's it. That was it. My future. That was the problem. Selama ini Energi ku terkuras untuk memikirkan masa depanku. Shoot. It's not even here yet. Masa itu belum datang,kenapa aku bisa sampai gila begini memikirkannya. Va,please. Let Allah takes care of it. It's not even worth to think. Kenapa harus membuang-buang energi, waktu dan pikiranmu untuk memikirkan nya. Yang kamu perlu lakukan sekarang adalah tidur. Please

                12:16. Puas? Kamu udah menganiaya diri kamu sendiri. Seharusnya kamu sudah tidur dari tadi atau bahkan sudah bermimpi. Kamu juga harus kerja besok. Hari senin kamu juga ada test. Magazine assignment's also due pretty soon. Math test's coming up. You haven't even worked on your written response. Your english project. Don't just think, do something. Make some progress in order to make changes. Stop it. Stop thinking without doing anything in return. GO TO SLEEP.


***Tulisan ini saya tulis pada bulan october tanggal 26th tahun 2008 di akun multiply saya. Berhubung saya lebih aktif di blogger, jadi ya saya pindahkan tulisan ini ke blogger :D

Jika aku harus mencinta

Jika aku harus mencinta,
Aku ingin cinta itu harus ada untukku,
Tidak menduakanku,
Tidak berpaling dariku.

Jika aku harus mencinta,
Cinta itu harus menyelimutiku,
Bertahan,
Walau dikala badai menghantam.

Jika aku harus mencinta,
Cinta itu tidak pernah berniat menginggalkan ku,
Tidak pernah luput dari jangkauanku walau sekejap,
Terus hadir dalam dekapanku.

Jika aku harus mencinta,
Cinta itu tidak memandang siapa aku,
Tidak memilihku karena keunggulan ku,
Tidak merendahkan kekurangan ku,
dan tidak mencoba mengubah siapa diriku,
Tapi ia senantiasa mengajariku,
Mencoba memperbaiki langkahku.

Jika aku harus mencinta,
Dia tidak pernah lelah untuk memberiku maaf,
Atas khilaf duniawiku,
Atas fitrah ketidaksempurnaanku sebagai makhluk,
Dan siap menerimaku kembali dengan penuh kasih sayang setelah aku menyakitinya.

Bisakah kau memberikan cinta seperti ini?
Sesempurna Cinta-Nya?
Jika kau mampu,
Aku akan berpaling dari-Nya,
Untuk sebuah cinta yang kau tawarkan.


***Puisi ini sebenarnya sudah lama saya tulis. Di tengah kegalauan, tetapi baru saja saya copy ke blogger. Enjoy! :D

A Letter to the Culture that Raised Me

Growing up, you read me the Ugly Duckling. And for years I believed that was me. For so long you taught me I was nothing more than a bad copy of the standard (men).

I couldn’t run as fast or lift as much. I didn’t make the same money and I cried too often. I grew up in a man’s world where I didn’t belong.

And when I couldn’t be him, I wanted only to please him. I put on your make-up and wore your short skirts. I gave my life, my body, my dignity, for the cause of being pretty. I knew that no matter what I did, I was worthy only to the degree that I could please and be beautiful for my master. And so I spent my life on the cover of Cosmo and gave my body for you to sell.

I was a slave, but you taught me I was free. I was your object, but you swore it was success. You taught me that my purpose in life was to be on display, to attract, and be beautiful for men. You had me believe that my body was created to market your cars. And you raised me to think I was an ugly duckling. But you lied.

Islam tells me, I’m a swan. I’m different – it’s meant to be that way. And my body, my soul, was created for something more.

God says in the Qur’an, “O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted.” (49:13)

So I am honored. But it is not by my relationship to men. My value as a woman is not measured by the size of my waist or the number of men who like me. My worth as a human being is measured on a higher scale: a scale of righteousness and piety. And my purpose in life – despite what the fashion magazines say – is something more sublime than just looking good for men.

And so God tells me to cover myself, to hide my beauty and to tell the world that I’m not here to please men with my body; I’m here to please God. God elevates the dignity of a woman’s body by commanding that it be respected and covered, shown only to the deserving – only to the man I marry.

So to those who wish to ‘liberate’ me, I have only one thing to say: “Thanks, but no thanks.”

I’m not here to be on display. And my body is not for public consumption. I will not be reduced to an object, or a pair of legs to sell shoes. I’m a soul, a mind, a servant of God. My worth is defined by the beauty of my soul, my heart, my moral character. So, I won’t worship your beauty standards, and I don’t submit to your fashion sense. My submission is to something higher.

With my veil I put my faith on display – rather than my beauty. My value as a human is defined by my relationship with God, not by my looks. I cover the irrelevant. And when you look at me, you don’t see a body. You view me only for what I am: a servant of my Creator.

You see, as a Muslim woman, I’ve been liberated from a silent kind of bondage. I don’t answer to the slaves of God on earth. I answer to their King.

***Source : http://www.yasminmogahed.com/2011/02/01/a-letter-to-the-culture-that-raised-me/

A starter

It's not easy to be a starter,

to start when everyone is already ahead,

to start when everyone is already close to the finish line,

here I am, still in the start line.

I'm a starter, trying to put every pieces of my life together,

like somehow, trying to put back all the broken puzzle.

Because I'm a starter,

me, please please be patient with those who are already way ahead,

and you, please please be patient of me who is still behind, 

because I am a starter,

me and you, please be patient of us.

Superwoman! :D

I remember in High School, I joined many different clubs. I joined leadership club, chess club, art club, tennis club, debate club (I came to this club twice in my first and second year. Man, I really thought I wanted to become a debater or something. Lol) and newspaper club, but I only lasted few days in the club, then I QUIT! 

I guess my problem had been wanting to be "EVERYTHING" which is impossible, or is it? 

Well, NOBODY is PERFECT! I've been saying it over and over and over again to everyone but well, it doesn't work on me for quiet sometime. I've always wished that I could do ANYTHING like you know, SUPERWOMAN!   But, it was great experience after all because that way I was exposed to many different things. Well done 

Before entering university, I didn't realize that was my problem. I still wanted to be good at, EVERYTHING. I even wanted to join more clubs! Then I realized what happened in High School, I ended up QUITTING from all the clubs 

So this time I have to do things differently. I just want to stick to few clubs that are interested to me.

Through my exploration time in High School, I realized that I actually have passion for writing. I stick with newspaper club for a few months. I also wrote a few articles. Therefore in university, I want to stick with a club that allow me to write in it  So far, there is this one club called creative writing club, but my english still sucks so I don't think I'm joining to that one just yet. I hope I can join to that club one day 

And my time management still sucks! But I'm still working on it , wish me luck guys 

Yes, Insya ALLAH, I will be okay :)

"It's good that you don't quit this time" my friend told me.

"I know, but every time I work, I get nervous. The customers aren't very nice sometime you know" I told her.

"Like how?".

"Like sometime when I couldn't understand what they're saying, I could see their frustration. It seems like they don't understand, and nobody seems to try to understand anymore" I told her hopelessly.

"Should I advise you to be patient and add the religious talk?" asked my friend cautiously.

"Yeah, why not? I need it, I guess"

"Well, you might've known that this is part of our Lord test for you, for you to be patient, and for you to also not lose hope in Him"

"I know, but it is so hard" tears started to flow down on my cheeks. "And I really don't know what's wrong with me. Everyone seems to do just fine at school. But me, I ended being worry more than ever. I dropped two classes because I couldn't handle them. I didn't take five courses each semester like my friend did and that worries me. What if I wouldn't finish in time or what if I don't finish at all? and future worries me! I don't know how they manage it, I don't know how you can handle not worrying about future."

She was quite for awhile and then started talking. "What worries you the most?".

"I really wish that I could send my dad home to retire. He's getting old and I don't want him to work hard anymore. I'm just scared of everything that might happen in the future"

"Have you tried to trust your Lord? Do you think that He will just put you in a situation without helping you? Do you think that he would leave you alone in this world after creating you?"

"So you're saying that He continuously helps me and he's helping me even now?" I asked her back.

"What do you think? Why do you smile after crying? Who made that possible? Who made it all OK after every pain you feel and every suffering that you're going through?"

"So He never leaves me alone, not even a minute?"

"Not even a second, never. He's always with you, with all of us. He's taking care of us all you know"

We were quite for awhile.

"Will I, umm, will I be okay?"

My friend didn't answer me back but instead I only saw my assuring smile that said, yes Insya ALLAH I will be okay.

A Reflection on Withholding

Allah is Al Wahab (the one who loves to give gifts) and Al Kareem (the most generous). Therefore the default is that He loves to give. So, think about it. We must know that if Al Wahab, Al Kareem has withheld something from us, it must be because Al- Aleem (the most knowing) and Al Hakeem (the Most Wise) knows in His knowledge and wisdom  that at this time it is best for us that it be withheld. And so, Al Rahman (the most merciful) withholds. Know that He withholds to give.

***Source: www.yasminmogahed.com

Slaughtering Our Attachments

Many years ago, our father Ibrahim (AS) made a choice. He loved his son. But He loved God more. The commandment came to sacrifice his son. But it wasn’t his son that was slaughtered. It was his attachment. It was his attachment to anything that could compete with his love for God. And the beauty of such a sacrifice is this: Once you let go of your attachment, what you love is given back to you–now in a purer, better form. So let us ask ourselves in these beautiful days of sacrifice, which attachments do we need to slaughter?

***Source: www.yasminmogahed.com

Facebook Addict!

Are you a Facebook addict? if you ask me, "I am" : D
All my Acehnese friends are on facebook, what can I do? :( And it's not easy to adapt here. I'm still on 30 % adaptation scale. Pretty sad eh? :(
I've been trying to get a life. I've joined clubs in the past years. But now, I haven't joined anything yet. I just came back from Aceh, so please give me some time, people :D

I've been living here for almost 5 years. I know, I know, it's a long time. But still, this place is so strange. So different from back home. From foods, climate, language, people! Everything! It's not easy to adapt in this country. I'm always missing home:(

The only reason why I'm always checking facebook is because all my friends are on facebook! :(

Reflection

"Alif. Lam. Ra. (This is) a Scripture which We have revealed unto thee (Muhammad) that thereby thou must bring forth mankind from darkness unto light, by the permission of their Lord, unto the path of the Mighty; the owner of Praise." (Ibrahim 14:1)

"Alif. Lam. Ra. (Ini adalah) Kitab yang Kami turunkan kepadamu supaya kamu mengeluarkan manusia dari gelap gulita kepada cahaya terang benderang dengan izin Tuhan mereka, (yaitu) menuju jalan Tuhan Yang Maha Perkasa lagi Maha Terpuji." (Ibrahim:14:1)

Prophets in Islam

"Assalamualaikum", sapanya.

Siang tadi di tempat kerja, saya di sapa sama cewe bule yang umurnya kira-kira sebaya dengan saya.

"Assalamualaikum" sapanya.

"Salam" jawab saya.

Saya sedikit berhati-hati karna banyak sekali bule-bule di sini yang sering mengucap salam ketika berpapasan dengan seorang muslim.

"How's your Ramadhan" (bagaimana puasa mu) tanyanya.

"Good, thanks" jawab saya.

Saya penasaran. Langsung saja saya bertanya apakah dia seorang muslim atau tidak. Ternyata ia. Dia baru saja bersyahadah seminggu sebelum Ramadhan tiba (Alhamdulillah). Saya juga menanyakan bagaimana perasaan nya menjadi seorang muslim dan apa yang menyebabkan ia mengambil pilihan ini. Dia mengaku senang menjadi muslim dan banyak hal yang menyebabkan ia menjadi muslim, termasuk alasan bahwa agama Islam itu agama yang paling masuk akal. ALLAHU AKBAR!!!

Tapi sayang percakapan kami sangat singkat karna saya sedang bekerja dan ia harus buru-buru pergi. Semoga bisa bertemu dengan nya lagi. Aamin.

Family

Notes that a brother shared from my talk at MCA last weekend on "Strengthening the Bond: Family in Islam":

The Prophet (saw) said: "The best of you are those who are best to their family."

*The litmus test is not how you treat the public; it's how you treat your family.
*No matter how you treat your family, you have an assumption that they will always be there.
*Treating family well is tied to s

incerity because it's not something public. It's what we do behind closed doors.
*Ironically, and sadly, we are best to everyone else and not to our families.

-We have these beautiful concepts, but how do we achieve them?
-How do we build the bond?

7 points, based on Prophetic example:

1. Gentleness
Hadiths:
-Allah is gentle and loves gentleness.
-He who is deprived of gentleness is deprived of good.
*Often we save all our gentleness for
those outside, and when we get home, we've 'used it all up'
2. Showing affection
Hadiths:
-He who does not have mercy will not have mercy upon him.
-Aisha RA, narrated that the Prophet (saw) would drink from her cup at the same spot she did.
3. Stop focusing on our rights, and start focusing on our responsibilities
-Everyone wants to know about their rights, but not their responsibilities.
-A lecture on the rights of women should be filled with 99.9% men & vice versa, not the opposite.
4. Controlling our anger
Hadith: The strong person is the one who can control himself in a fit of anger.
*Make it unacceptable to not control anger with family, just like we would if a police officer pulled us over.
Hadith: "Don't get angry" repeated thrice
5. Helping eachother in the home
Problem: we put culture above religion
-We may keep sunnahs of clothes/beard, but not how the Prophet (saw) was with his family and home.
-He stitched his own clothes and helped with chores. He served his family, and when the time for prayer came, he went.
6. We shouldn't help and teach the community while neglecting our homes.
Qur'an 66:6: "O you who believe, save yourselves and your families from a fire, the fuel of which is human beings and stones."
-saving our families is mentioned
7. Dealing with family problems
Two things to remember before nasiha:
1. Whatever you see, bring to mind your own sins to give nasiha not from a place of arrogance (arrogance is one of the worst diseases of the heart)
*biggest complaint, nasiha givers are self-righteous
2. Find gratitude and realize that it was only Allah who protected you from doing worse than the sin you are speaking against
*The hearts turn. Never feel like you're safe. If the Prophet (saw) made du'a (Oh Turner of hearts, keep my heart firm upon Your deen) then who are we not to?
*What comes from the heart, enters the heart.

Facing painful treatment from family..
Read the message in the bottle.
In situations, seek to find the message in the bottle that Allah swt is sending you.
*Don't be passive about abuse. Many people think the definition of sabr is turning the other cheek. Nay, it means constancy. Perseverance. We're told that Allah swt does not allow injustice. We should also not approve of injustice.
*Sometimes within a hardship itself, there's a gift. If it brought you closer to Allah swt; it was in fact a gift. And if a 'gift' takes you away from Allah swt, even if it's money or status, then it was in fact a punishment

Sometimes, when everyone in your family is against you, when your whole community is against you; Allah swt is facilitating you to turn completely to Him. That's tawheed.

***Source: Yasmin Mogahed Facebook Page

My own nafs

I cannot seek refuge in my own self, from my nafs. Because my nafs is my own self. I can't call the police to help me with my nafs. I can't call the ghost busters. I can't call anybody else; there's nobody who can help me against my own nafs, but Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala - Yasmin Mogahed

Syukur itu nikmat

Ini kali pertama saya harus berpuasa di musim panas. Jujur, awal-awal nya saya sempat gak rela karna harus berpuasa 18 jam. "Coba kalo saya di Aceh, pasti gak harus puasa 18 jam kan? Dan taraweh nya juga gak bakal siap tengah malam kan? Teros harus kerja juga, hek deh!" Dan banyak lagi perkataan-perkataan "galau" lainnya. Setelah beberapa minggu, Alhamdulillah, akhirnya saya sudah mulai rela dan mulai terbiasa. Tidak mudah memang mendidik diri agar bisa ikhlas dan ridha dengan ketetapan ALLAH (ini butuh praktis yang extensive dan harus di lakukan terus menerus) :D

Akan tetapi, ALLAH memang tidak menyia-nyiakan perbuatan baik seorang hamba. Selalu saja ada balasannya. Dan Alhamdulilah memang ini terbukti. Pada hari raya pertama, Calgary kedatangan tamu istimewa. Siapa lagi kalo bukan Aa Gym!
Awal nya Aa Gym hanya di undang ceramah ke Vancouver tapi akhirnya beliau menerima tawaran berceramah ke Calgary. Alhamdulillah. Coba kalo saya pulang ke Aceh, belum tentu bisa bertemu Aa Gym, ya kan?

“Sesungguhnya jika kamu bersyukur, pasti Kami akan menambah (nikmat) kepadamu . . ."(Ibrahim; 14 : 7)

Melihat dan mendengar ceramah Aa Gym secara langsung termasuk salah satu nikmat ALLAH yang sangat-sangat saya syukuri.
***Tentu saja sesi poto-poto bersama Aa Gym juga merupakan nikmat yang luar biasa karna saya ini fans berat nya Aa Gym! Alhamdulillah.

"Dan barangsiapa bersyukur (kepada Allah), maka sesungguhnya ia bersyukur untuk dirinya sendiri, dan barangsiapa tidak bersyukur, sesungguhnya Allah Maha Kaya lagi Maha Terpuji” (Luqman;  31 : 12)

Benar memang, dengan bersyukur kita melakukan kebaikan terhadap diri kita sendiri. Karna rasa syukur itu sendiri bisa menghilangkan rasa galau pada diri dan jiwa.
***Eh malam pun jadi tenang.

Mau gak galau? Bersyukurlah! :D

Dan sekali lagi, ini dia foto saya bersama Aa Gym! ***Eaaak Eaaak :D

Life must go on ;D

I had FUN holiday (6 days holiday off from work) Finally!
The girls and I went to Mexican festival and watched fireworks from the lake! :D

But life must go on, now I must come back to work! Gotta face some challenges, overcome my fears, but most importantly have reedha, sabr, and syukr in the process. And constantly saying Alhamdulillah (thank God) for everything that has happened and that will happen in the future ;)

But before that, I have some picture that I took during the Mexican festival. I had so much fun hanging out with the girls ( (suddenly I feel like I'm 12 again! lol)

Sooo, here we go :D

A day with Aa Gym :D

I had never thought I'd meet Aa Gym!!!
After all, living in Canada isn't so bad at all :D Otherwise it'd been hard to meet him in Aceh :/
I've been wanting to meet him for sooo long. Aa gym is such an awesome person! His lectures are amazing!!!
Anyway, Alhamdulillah I get to meet him in person. I wish we could discuss about so many things, like important issues regarding about Islam right now. And I actually had personal questions that I wanted to ask him about, but the time was very short :( Too bad, but that's okay. Anyway,

Here's my picture with Aa :D

Do we take things for granted?

Do we take things for granted? If you ask me, I would say "I do".

So here's my story:

I was an ESL (English as as Second Language) student for almost 2 years. At that time, I was pretty frustrated to be enrolled in the program. I felt like, "There's nothing wrong with my English! Why can't they let me off this program!" I felt like I was wasting my time!

But now, to think back, I really need ESL classes! I wish would have used my time wisely and actually studied English! My English  hasn't improved that much.
I still don't know much of grammar and my writing is sooo messy. I really wish I could go back to ESL classes : (
******Not to mention, ESL classes were FUN! It's less serious! : D

Of course, I don't want to dwell on my past and mistakes are lessons if we learn from them!

The question is, do I learn something from this experience?

YES! I do learn to not take things for granted! I should've been patient in the process. Just like how ALLAH tells us in the qur'an in surah Al-Baqarah ayah 216.

"Boleh jadi kamu membenci sesuatu padahal ia amat baik bagimu dan boleh jadi (pula) kamu menyukai sesuatu padahal ia amat buruk bagimu. ALLAH lebih mengetahui sedang kamu tidak"

Next time, I'll try to remain patient with ALLAH's plan for me. Wish me luck guys : D

Loneliness

Many people feel lonely because they think they haven't found that perfect 'companion' in their lives yet. But know this: sometimes God sends everyone else away so that you can find your realest and deepest companionship in Him, in His words, in His messengers. Never despair! - Yasmin Mogahed

***Kebanyakan kita merasa kesepian karena kita berfikir bahwa kita belum menemukan pasangan atau sahabat2 yang sempurna dalam kehidupan kita. Tapi ketahuilah: terkadang ALLAH membuat orang-orang lain jauh dari kita supaya kita bisa lebih dekat denganNya, dengan firman2Nya, dengan nabi dan rasul2Nya. Jadi, jangan pernah putus asa!

Why do we worry?

I've been worrying a lot. Like A LOT! Well mostly about my future. I know future scares us, doesn't it?
The unwanted thoughts like , "what if I don't finish my school?", "what if I don't graduate on time?", "what if I don't get a good job", "what if I can't pay my loans?"  and series of "what if" followed.

Then how can you quiet this unwanted thoughts and calm yourself down in the process?

Well, we need to find out the "root" of the problem before we're able to answer this question and find the solution.

To start of with, let's ask another question (questions are good by the way :D )

WHY DO WE WORRY?

I've been following sister Yasmin Mogahed lectures. She've been talking about our precious heart that tends to get "empty".  And most people want to fill the emptiness in their heart because we can't just feel nothing! We need to feel something, ALWAYS!

Some people fill their heart with the love for their children, some people fill it with the love for their spouse and many others. And some of us who don't have children or spouse, fill our heart with excessive "worrying" :D

Like I said before, we can't feel nothing, we need to feel something! Just anything!

So the answer to the question, WHY DO WE WORRY, would be : we just need to fill the emptiness of our heart with something! As a result, we worry!

Another answer would be, we worry because everyone else worries. It's like a disease, so contagious! One time I see my friends who worries a lot and found myself who seems sooo at ease, questioning, "why I am not worried?" and I worried a lot ever since ( - - )"


SHOULD WE BE WORRIED THEN?

To some extend, YES! For example, if we have an exam and we're not "worrying" which makes us don't want to prepare for it, can you imagine the chaos?

But (there's a but!) if our worry prevents us from functioning properly, then that's a disease which needs to be cured! (Excessive worrying for example)

As sister Yasmin Mogahed has said, worries result from lack of trust in our creator. It seems like we don't trust ALLAH that He knows what He's doing. Of course we don't say that we don't trust ALLAH, but we show it with our action such us "worrying".

Sister Yasmin further mention how prophet Musa(AS) is not worried when facing with firaun. When he stood in front of the red sea, he had no doubts that ALLAH will help him. And it's true, ALLAH made a way out for him by splitting the red sea! Can you imagine how powerful ALLAH is?!

So, everytime you find yourself worrying, ask yourself question "WHY AM I SO WORRIED ABOUT?" and slowly tell yourself that ALLAH is taking care of us, there's nothing to worry about. You just need to try your best in this world and leave the result to ALLAH. Of course this is easier said than done, but it's not impossible. We just need a little practise to train our thoughts :)

Hopefully this will help us quiet the unwanted thoughts and calm ourselves down in the process :)