Academic Warnings

I've been so scared, so nervous, so tense, just thinking about my academic warnings. I've got two already! Does that surprise you?! Maybe for some, yeah. For those of you who don't know what academic warnings, you get the warnings if your GPA is below 2.

So how did I end up with two academic warnings?!

Well, here's my story. I'm not even a smart girl to begin with. I'm just lucky enough that I'm in university at all. Alhamdulillah, praise due to ALLAH for making this possible. And what happened was in my first year of university, I was so nervous. I couldn't keep up with pressure. I saw everyone study really hard. They didn't even sleep at night. They were constantly drinking coffee. And that worries me a little bit because I'm not like that. I don't study the way they do. I wouldn't give up my sleeping time for studying! I would rather get my 8 hours of sleep, and wake up in the morning fresh. Also, I wouldn't give up my prayer time which I normally take half or even an hour to do one prayer. You see the difference?! That worries me a little bit because I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. And if I have time after all of this, that's when I study.
One thing I realize that worries affect your study and that's how I end up with academic warnings! Too much pressure that I can't seem to handle.

Also, expectations, either from me, parents, or even society. Somehow, if you go to school, get good marks, then you'll get a good job that pays you good which lead to a good life and not to mention "good husband" (if you're girl, of course!).

And I don't know why this idea gets to me. I mean, I wasn't worried at all when I was in High School and I seemed to be doing just fine. I'm still alive, which is the only thing important since the hereafter is the reality. Now, why am I worried at all?! Why does it matter if I have a good job, good life, or even good husband?! Since when do I start to care?!

I guess I'm worried because everyone worries! And to not worry seems pretty naive because in this messed up world, C'mon, get real! *By the way, some people do think this way!

Is it possible to not worry at all?! I guess it is because we have God, the most powerful! He's above all this! Guess what, I'm really curious wanting to know how my semester will be.

Will I master my anxiety and not to worry at all?! Will I stay in university at all?!

I do believe if ALLAH wills, I'm gonna be staying next semester. Insya ALLAH. But if not, I'm sure ALLAH has a better plan. Better than I've ever imagined. Soo, what will happen to me?! Let's find out. By the way, I'll keep posting guys ;)