Earlier today, I was really down because I couldn't really finish my short essay. I finished my body paragraphs, but that's only because my tutor was there to help me :(
I couldn't really think what the introduction and conclusion would be. But in the end, I wrote couple of words, for the sake of finishing it off. ***Finally, alhamdulillah, I handed in! ;)
Anyway, while I was at my "galau" point, I started to imagine what I would do if I get expelled from university. I'd probably going to go back to Aceh, and open a restaurant. I really want to learn how to cook, cuz I really want to be a good mother :D
And I was thinking, if I open a restaurant, then I could help out with some chefs who I might hire.
Or I could also save money so that I could buy some sort of an institution, just so that I could hire and give a place for those who want to teach.
As for me, I would just become a house-wife and take care of family :D
Anyway, back to my point. I really thought that was the end of my life. Like, that's it!
And I asked myself, why was I so down and gloomy? A believer shouldn't be like this. I believe in God, so why despair?! This is only a test from Him. He wants to see my faith in Him, that's the whole point of a test. I told myself, no more despair or worries. Let's be positive.
I told myself, ALLAH loves me and He's only testing me. I know the test might seem "cruel" on the outside, that you sometime feel He's abandoned you, but that's the whole point of a test.
It is ALLAH's way to see which are you among the true believer.
So then I decided to take a deep breath, and said calming words like, "ALLAH is testing you. He loves you, He will never abandon you. As long as you try your best to be in His path, you'll be fine. All you have to do is to be patient with this test. And keep going. No more worries! We believe in ALLAH. He's the most merciful. He will help me"
That's how I continued my day. I came to class. I sat and listened to the lecture. It was really difficult, I didn't really understand what she was saying. Then I began to worry again. Then I asked myself, "Why do I let myself to worry?! I thought I believe in ALLAH?! No worries, He'll get me out of the situation in ways I could never imagine"
Then I began to be positive again. I realized that it's so easy to listen to syaitan's whispers and started to worry. But this time, I really want to practise "positivity". To really see beyond the illusion of this life, and see good in everything ALLAH gives to me. That's how a believer should be ;)
Anyway, when it's closed to the end, I started asking questions about the materials. Then I realized, there's really no point in worrying. TRUST is the key word for today.
You trust God who is the Most merciful, who will never abandon you, and keep going ;)
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