Building Self-Esteem Workshop Part I

I've been attending so many different workshops that are offered by my university. I figure since I'm a psychology major, I might as well start to learn everything about Psychology :D hehe

and not to mention, I learn a lot about myself as well! It was a two hour workshop, so bare with me :D

Here we go.

So,  what is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is reputation we acquire with ourselves - Nathaniel Branden

It involves: acceptance, respect, trust and belief in yourself. 

Before we talk about "how to build self-esteem", let's talk about "low self-esteem" which often times get in our ways of achieving our goals.

So, What is low self-esteem?

Low self-esteem is negative belief about ourselves that we turn into facts (when they're merely just a belief, not facts!)

For example, when you were young, someone might have told you that you're weak because you cried a lot. As a result, you believed that you were weak (when in fact you were just still young that's why you cried). As a result, you carry this beliefs and later on you turn them into facts!

Next question is, How has having low self-esteem affected your life?

The answer to this could be vary depends on your life-situation. Different people have different answers to this which is fine. These are just some answers that were suggested.

- It could have affected your performance at school and work

- You could have achieved less than what you're capable of

- It could be that you're trying so hard to please others or make friends.

- It could be that you're being extremely self-conscious

- It could be that you've been avoiding intimacy and social contact

- It could be that you're upset by criticism.

What experiences have you had that might have contributed to the way you feel about yourself?

This question is very important because this is the root of our low self-esteem. Experiences lead us to believe about ourselves. Like how I mention earlier, if you've been told that you're weak because you cried a lot when you were young, then you would believe and feel that you are weak (when in fact, you were still young that's why you cried).

Some of the other answers are:

- It could be that you've been punished, neglected, abused.

- It could be that there was an absence of positives

- Difficulty in meeting parents' standards

- Not fitting in at school or home

What sorts of rules and assumptions for living might have to help you feel better about yourself? How do these rules and assumptions influence your behaviour?

I'm just gonna use previous example :D

So if you're told that you're weak when you cry a lot then obviously you're going to avoid crying (at least in front of others). You wold say, I must not cry because if I do people might think I'm weak. So these are the rules and assumptions that you make for yourself. Your answer can be different, once again, it all depends on your experiences.

Whoaaa, all I've been talking is about what is self-esteem, or what is low self-esteem. You might be questoning, "Where's the "how to build your self-esteem" part?"

If you're curious wanting to know "how to build your self-esteem", don't forget to read my next post :D