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| Welcome to my University :) |
Back from Aceh, I really thought I was gonna rock my university life!
I planned to be a book-worm, a nerd, or whatever you'd call it. First of all, I love studying, okay! LOL. Second of all, I really want to finish in four year, and be an honour student at the same time. Is it too big of a dream?! I mean, I was never a straight A's student. Let alone an honour student. Let me repeat that, an honour student????!!!
I was just a regular student, with an average mark. I never even think of getting an A in even one class! It's like a major no-no! Like, hello, wake up, it won't happen!
But this year, I'm calling for a CHANGE! I really want to prove me wrong!
So, in my first year, I studied like CRAAZY! I stayed in the library, studying! I stayed at Tim-Hortons (which is a coffee-shop), studying! Everywhere, I try to study! I reduced my shift at work. To do what? Duh, study of course! But it didn't happen, I didn't get any A's. In fact, I got Academic Warnings! Awesome, isn't it?
Just when you thought things couldn't possibly go wrong, guess what, they do!
So, if you ask me, what was the problem? Then, let me tell ya :D
Well, the first problem was, I was worried! I was worried too much. I was worried about future, such us : how to pay for my tuition without applying for student loans, how to finish in four years and be an honour student, how can I be qualify for scholarships, on top of that, how can I manage my time between ALLAH, myself, family and friends, school and clubs, and work. So much in one plate!
And the second problem was, I wasn't sure! I wasn't sure if this is what I wanted to do in life. I mean, is becoming a psychologist is what I want to be? And what will I do for a living? Cuz they say Psychologists don't make a lot of money. For me, money is not everything, but guess what, everything needs money!
And the third problem was, I wasn't confident enough to believe that I could do it. Will I get As in my classes? Will I be an honour student? Will I be qualified for scholarships so that I can pay my school fees? I mean, this is huge for someone who hasn't gotten any As in her life! ***Try to put yourself in my shoes people! :P
And many problems that aren't identified as well (Cuz I'm still trying to figure out what they are!).
So you could say, I was pretty much galau at the time.
As a result, I didn't take any classes from my major for two semesters. I ended up taking classes that weren't part of my major. Like I said, I needed sometime to figure out what the rest of the problems were and how to solve them!
If you ask me, were there some wisdom behind this situation?
Of course! There's always wisdom behind everything that had happened.
First of all, if hadn't for what had happened, I wouldn't have tried to fix my prayer. My prayer wasn't a priority at the time, school was! I would put my prayer in a later time, because I had to do my assignment right away :(
Later I realized, how I had my priority upside down. It should have been my prayer first!
Second of all, if hand't for what had happened, I wouldn't give up my sunday to teach my little cousin Quran. Now I realized that, this very galau time that I had taught me about life. It's not always about getting ahead, sometime it's about sacrifice and sharing with others, especially with whom you love :)
Third of all, I've been cooking! Yeah! :D I usually hate cooking and won't make the time for it. Now I figure, since I'm going to become a mom one day, so why not learn? :D
Fourth of all (this is crucial on my part), I become more dependent on GOD. I needed Him. Every second, every minute, every day, I can't live without God! I become aware that I am just a piece of dust, who is worthless, if not what He has made me worth of.
And of course, there are more things I've learned from this situation which I can't write down because it' s midnight here already! I need to sleep people! :D
I just wish that this coming semester (winter semester) will be better. Hopefully, I can focus in achieving my dreams, while making ALLAH as my top priority. Wish me luck guys, and hopefully I'll be getting As in my classes! >,<
***PS: I haven't been able to sleep lately. I've been galau. I really hope next semester will be better. Insya ALLAH. Aamiin Ya Rabb :)
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